By Fasuyi Tolulope Samuel
Breakups are tough enough without the drama of “gift retrieval” — but it’s a trend we see repeatedly.
From celebrities reclaiming expensive engagement rings to everyday people asking for cars, rent money, or even clothes back, it’s a scenario that sparks heated debates: is it fair to demand back what you once gave out of love?
At the heart of this issue lies an uncomfortable truth — relationships are not just emotional partnerships, they are often economic ones too. People invest money, time, and effort into the person they love.
They buy cars to make life easier, pay rent to ease burdens, sponsor trips, and buy gifts to show affection. When the relationship collapses, many feel they should not have to carry the financial burden of what was supposed to be a shared future.
Psychologists suggest that this behavior is fueled by two main factors: loss aversion and resentment. Loss aversion — a term from behavioral economics — refers to how humans hate losing something of value more than they enjoy gaining something of equal value.
Read: Why Do Baby Mamas Struggle to Find Love Again?
When love ends, the expensive watch, the fully furnished apartment, or the lavish wedding ring no longer feels like a gift — it feels like a “loss.” Add the emotional sting of betrayal or heartbreak, and the desire to reclaim those investments intensifies.
There’s also the issue of perceived fairness. If one partner gave significantly more financially and feels the other left the relationship without valid reason, taking back gifts becomes, in their mind, a form of justice. Some even see it as “closing the account” on a partnership that failed.
But is it right? Legally, in many jurisdictions, gifts are considered irrevocable once given, unless they were explicitly conditional (such as an engagement ring, which is sometimes legally treated as a “contract to marry”).
Morally, opinions are divided. Some argue that once you give something freely, you should let it go — after all, gifts given in love should not turn into weapons of revenge. Others believe that reclaiming major financial contributions is simply practical, especially when the breakup was due to infidelity or deceit.
In truth, the phenomenon is less about material things and more about closure. Reclaiming property gives people a sense of regaining control and undoing what now feels like a mistake. It’s an emotional response to heartbreak disguised as financial prudence.
Perhaps the healthiest approach is to be more intentional when making large financial commitments in a relationship. Clarity — even if awkward — about what is a gift and what is a shared investment can save both parties emotional turmoil later.
Love is beautiful, but when it ends, we should strive to part with dignity, not with lawsuits over wristwatches.
